Friday, May 20, 2011

My Husband

Forgive me for this post being out of order. I'd saved it as a draft to finish later and I'm just now completing it, so it might mess things up a little.

I was thinking the other day about how I never really blog about Jon. I've been meaning to do this and every time he says something that makes me laugh it reminds me that I need to. A few years back, my best friend Megan started noticing things Jon said that were funny, but really only made sense to him. She began to call them "Jon-isms." Since then, the name has stuck. I'll give you a few examples. Some of my favorites are:
1) You can wish in one hand and poop in the other and see which fills up the fastest.
2) I'm happier than a two-peckered puppy
3) You can "what-if" all day long. What if a frog had shorter legs...he probably wouldn't bump his butt when he jumped.
4) That dog just won't hunt.
5) They screwed the pooch on that one.
6) I think I have a hollow leg.
7) He wouldn't know 'come here' from 'sick 'em'.
8) You can't make heads or tails of it.
9) I bet he's pleased as a mud duck.

See what I mean? They only make sense to him.

Jon is like a really old man trapped in a young man's body. He's the kind of guy who would totally wear coveralls in public if I would let him get away with it. He seems to have a certain way of looking at things that could only come from, one: spending part of his childhood in the country and enjoying the great outdoors, two: hard work, and three: being a laid-back, go with the flow, kinda guy.
He's a reserved personality...which, NOT, so, I guess we balance each other out. He's most comfortable in an old college baseball t-shirt, covered with a flannel, and worn-out jeans. He'd rather go fishing or hunting any day instead of watching sports. He's a loyal, life-long friend. He has a servant heart for anyone in need and has a hard time saying "no." He's handy around the house and with cars, and knows how to fix just about anything with duct-tape. If he doesn't know how to do something, he knows someone that does. He can't resist a puppy. He has a strangely large knowledge of musical show tunes, which scares me a little, but I choose to believe it comes from his mom being a former music teacher. He sings oldies in the shower...which he also he a weird knowledge of. Sometimes he feels the need to perform a few renditions for us, so the kids and I sit and watch and laugh at the "Jon Show." He "rat-holes" money away and has the self-control to do this for years before he spends it. He sneezes so loud that it makes me mad. He's obsessed with his yard and is always on the hunt for the best weed-killer. He has a tender-heart and can cry easily over sad things or children. He's very sentimental. He's a semi-hoarder. He does not care if the house is messy or if I don't wear make-up...these things are not important to him. He loves road trips...they make ME carsick. He can quote any movie he's watched in the last 30 years, but can't remember what I asked him to do five minutes ago. He likes to listen to old Southern Gospel on Sunday mornings. He drinks his coffee black and prefers not to eat breakfast. The bathroom is where he goes to take a break from me and the kids. He needs 8-10 hours of sleep nightly and I do quite well on 6...but, he did teach me to love naps. Autumn is his favorite season and he gets a spring in his step when the weather is an average 50 degrees. He has a laugh he makes only when he's feeling ornery and it make me smile every time. He says, "Oh my goodness", and I think it's the cutest thing. He keeps his commitments and promises and honors that he gave someone his word. His dream would be to work his own cattle ranch someday. He loves to watch Food-Network and decide on new things to cook. He is a good dancer...especially when he does his "Beyonce booty-shake."
I met Jon my eighth grade year. least this is MY first recollection. He says we were introduced our seventh grade year and he remembers distinctly because he walked away and thought "I'm gonna marry that girl". We shared our ninth grade Oklahoma History class together and became friends...just friends. We chatted on the phone many nights, but lost touch after the summer began. We met up again our senior year of high school when we had mutual friends. That reunion wasn't quite as fond a memory for me being that he offended me and I decided he was a jerk. We were at a football game and this smarty thought it would be funny to try out his latest joke and he told me I had a 'butter-face." Bewildered, I said, "What the heck is a butter-face." Jon got a smirk on his face and replied, "It's when everything looks good...BUT HER FACE." Charming, huh? Come to think of it...I think I'm mad all over again just telling this story. I'll let it slide though since I know that's not true...and since I knew he was in love with me and just being the little boy on the playground who pulls the little girls' ponytail to get her attention...but, that's another story for another time.

Eventually, I gave him the time of day and he won me over. Really, I just got tired of hearing him beg, but pretty quickly I began to fall in love with this man who I met when he was just a boy and I saw that he wasn't like others I'd dated. He didn't talk much, but when he did he said things that really were worth listening to. He knew who he was and didn't try to be something he wasn't. He stood up for his convictions and morals when everyone else seemed to be falling. He loved me for me. He was and still is my best friend. And, when I look back and think about that red-headed, skinny baseball player who sat behind me in Oklahoma History and made me laugh with the 'scrunched nose ugly-face' laugh...I smile. Because now...his hair is starting to turn gray...he's not so skinny anymore...he never became a pro ball player...ninth grade seems like a million years ago...BUT...he still makes me laugh. He makes me laugh really hard...and I still get the ugly face. He still loves me, just for me, and...he's still my best friend. I'm a very blessed woman to be Mrs. Jon Elliott.

1 comment:

  1. So sweet! He has to love you even more after reading this. I think I'm inspired to write one of these too...then I can read it over and over when I get mad at him :) Still LOVE your writing Steph!