A couple of weeks ago, I got a little surprise...we're pregnant! I've blogged before about how badly Jackson and I have wanted a baby. I've been silently praying since March and starting in May Jackson began to pray for a baby sister. I think his praying was prompted through two of our dear friends having baby girls in April and this sparked his desire. I am amazed by Jack and his faith. He inspires me. The praying felt like a lifetime of waiting. Waiting because I wanted to make sure that this is what God wanted for us and also wanting for Jon to come around to the idea of starting over again with a newborn. I think secretly infants scare my husband. He really likes babies more when they're a little less fragile...around 9-12 months, he really falls in love. He loves when they sleep through the night, babble, aren't nursing 24/7, and can rough-house. Also, Jon was completely content with two boys. He said, "Two is a good round number. There's one for each of us...we aren't outnumbered, and boys are really safe. Girls scare me." Jon comments on how cute baby girls are, so I know secretly he would love to find out what that is like. But mainly, I don't think my husband feels like our family is incomplete like I do. He's a simple man, happy-go-lucky, and not a lot bothers him, so I think it's his tendency to just be content. Me, on the other hand...not so much. I'm hoping that I will get this family eventually because let's face it, children are a lot of work. I can't just keep having babies forever.
So, long story short, seven months of praying daily and usually whenever it came into my mind, and oh boy...does God ever answer prayer. Jon and I decided we would start trying in a couple months, but I'm pretty confident that later that day I became pregnant. It baffles me because my standard #37 precautionary measure has never let me down in nearly 8 years and all of a sudden, we're pregnant.
This brings my mind to wonder...Why am I surprised when God gives me the desires of my heart? Why do I doubt that He wants to give me what I long for? Why do I think that He doesn't hear my prayers?
It's taken me a couple days to process this. My other pregnancies were totally planned and thought out and happened exactly when I wanted them to happen. This was out of my control even though I prayed for this to happen. I'm humbled when I remember that God is the giver of life...not Stephanie.
We told Jack about the news the other day. Jon explained to him that God wants him to know that He loves him very much. He told Jack that God hears his prayers and that even though He doesn't always answer them like we hope...this time He did. Jackson was beyond thrilled. He just kept saying, "Oh...my...gosh", over and over. He said, "I've been dreaming of this day my whole, entire life and God made it true!"...I don't know where he gets his dramatic nature (wink, wink). Colie keeps saying, "Tank you, Tank you mommy for my baby. Is my baby done, yet?" Maybe I spilled the beans to him a little too soon. It's going to be a long eight months to hear that 10 times a day.
"Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward." Psalm 127:3
"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine, according to His power that is a work within us." Ephesians 3:20