Friday, October 5, 2012

If You Give A Mom A Muffin...

As moms, we've all read the books by Laura Numeroff...If You Give A Dog A Donut, If You Give A Pig A Pancake, If You Give A Cat A Cupcake, etc.

Yesterday morning I made myself a cup of coffee and by yesterday afternoon, I found my cup of coffee...cold, still sitting in the microwave where I had left it to reheat for the third time..  So,  I thought about this and related to these books.

If you give a mom a muffin, she'll say thank you and tell you how thoughtful it was for you to think of her.  She'll probably want a cup of coffee to go with it.  So, she will make herself a cup of coffee, and ask you how your muffin was.  While you're answering her, she'll see that you have muffin all over your face, so she'll go get you a napkin.  When she brings you your napkin, you'll reach for it and knock over your glass of milk.  So, your mom will get a towel to clean up the spilled milk.  While she's doing this, you'll start to whine because your shirt is cold and, she will take you upstairs to change your shirt.  Your younger brother sees that you changed your shirt and now he wants to change his shirt.  Your mom will say, "No, the shirt you're wearing is fine.  You're not going to make extra laundry for me to do."  That will remind her that she forgot to switch the laundry over, so she'll go downstairs and pull the laundry out of the dryer to fold.  Your little brother comes down crying because, "Bubba gets to wear long sleeves and I don't!  It's no fair!  I hate short sleeves!" Your mom will set your little brother in time out because of his ugly attitude.  When she turns around, she sees the dog staring at her and she'll wonder if he's been let outside this morning.  She'll let the dog outside and then go give the dog food and water.  While she's doing this she pulls some hamburger out of the freezer to thaw for dinner.  When she's putting the hamburger in the refrigerator, she moves over the container of coffee creamer.  Seeing the coffee creamer will remind her about her cup of coffee.  She'll go to take her first sip and realize that now her coffee is cold, and she'll put her coffee into the microwave.  As she's doing this, she hears the baby crying, and goes to get him from his crib.  She picks up the baby to see that he has had a diaper blowout and now his jammies are messy.  So, she'll change the baby's diaper and jammies, and take the dirty jammies to the washer, where she realizes the wet laundry in the washer has been sitting so long, that now it needs to be rewashed.  She adds soap and fills the washer up with water.  Meanwhile, your little brother is screaming from timeout that he's ready to get up.  She'll go to him and ask, "Why did mommy put you in timeout?" As she's trying to remember herself, why exactly he was sent to timeout, the baby starts crying.  She goes to check on the baby and sees that he's hungry, so she takes the baby to the rocking chair to nurse.  As she's nursing the baby, she takes a moment to herself to check her Facebook account.  She sees interesting posts from her friends about what they pinned on Pinterest, so she tells herself at nap time, she's going to get on Pinterest.  She finishes nursing the baby and makes you and your little brother lunch.  She then serves lunch, empties the dishwasher, loads the dishwasher, clears the table, sweeps the floor, mops the floor, and lets the dog back inside where he then tracks muddy paw prints on the newly cleaned floor.  She begins to look for the mop and realizes that she can't mop the floor because she's out of floor cleaner.  She goes to write down "floor cleaner" on her grocery list and hears you and your little brother fighting.  She walks upstairs to check and sees water all over the bathroom floor and you and your brother in soapy wet clothes.  She looks at you with big eyes and says, "What in the world is this mess about?  I can't leave the two of you alone for five minutes!"  Wearily she takes a big breath and says that she wishes this day was over already.  She starts to clean up the mess and tells you and your brother to change into some dry clothes.  While changing into dry clothes, your brother starts yelling, "I want to wear the Cars underwear."  You tell him no and say you had them first.  He keeps yelling and the yells turn to screams when you finally have enough and hit him.  He starts crying, the baby starts crying, you start crying, because now you know you're in trouble.  Your mom comes in and says, "I've had enough.  Everyone down for naps."  Your mom gets everyone down for a nap and takes a deep breath.  She goes to fold the laundry and remembers that she was going to browse Pinterest during nap time.  She hears her stomach growl and remembers she didn't eat any lunch.  She decides to grab something easy so she can get on the computer and she sees a plate of muffins.  She grabs the uneaten muffin...and chances are....if you give a mom a muffin, she'll want a cup of coffee to go with it.