Monday, October 25, 2010

The Verdict Is...

...fractured tailbone. Went to the doctor today and took xrays and she said tailbone is definitely fractured. So, I guess that picture Jon took proved to be not so funny after all. Let me refresh your memory.

I think I might keep bringing that up for the rest of our marriage. You know...the part about how he laughed and took pictures as I winced and moaned in excruciating pain. Yeah...I'm seeing a little compensation in my future.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

First Day of School

I'm really behind on a lot of things that I wanted to blog about, but this is important and better late than never, right?
This year was the first year that my boys were in school together. It's not quite school, but Mother's Day Out. Last year Cole would just cry when we would take Jack to school. He wanted so badly to go along and play with all the toys. Well, this year, he got his wish. And mommy got hers...silence.

My Mother's Child

Lately, I've been realizing how much like my mom, I am. In the first real challenges of marriage and motherhood it started to show vaguely. As typical for a woman entering into my own "life", I've told myself over and over how I would never be like her. I would never do things like she did. Although she and I are very different people and very different parents, my mom has taught me a lot of really good things. Some of them she didn't even really "teach" me, more like I inherited them or I was just born with them being ingrained in me. Many of them didn't develop until later in life. Too many times I think I've dwelled on what my mother has done that was wrong...areas she failed me. In a lot of ways, that could be so. But also, in a lot of ways, she has taught me a lot of things. I really began to notice this while Jon and I went on a trip to New England last week. The older I get, the more in love with nature, I become. As a teenager, my parents took me camping...once. Once because frankly, my dad hates camping. Another because it was a miserable trip. We woke up lying in three inches of rain water and we all crammed into the car to sleep the last few hours til it was light enough to drive home. At that point in my life, I hated the outdoors. The bugs, the heat, the simplicity. I did not appreciate the beauty or peacefulness.
We landed in Boston late Wednesday afternoon. We hadn't eaten since that morning, so we headed out to an early dinner. We stopped at this little Italian restaurant called Bocelli's. The waitress came over to our table and asked us, in her strong Boston accent, what we would like to drink. Out of complete shock, I started to giggle. She looked at me bewildered and seemed to ask what I was laughing at. I couldn't help it! I've only heard people talk like that in the movies...but these people really exist! Like my mother, I tend to laugh when it's really inappropriate. For almost the entire rest of the trip, Jon and I only talked in our best "Jersey Shore" accents!

We drove up the coast to make our way to Maine and New Hampshire. Our first stop was the beach. It was completely amazing. The only beach I've seen was when Jon and I went to Cancun for our honeymoon and then to Playa del Carmen a couple years later. I've never seen the beaches here. I was like a kid in a candy store. I squealed like a little girl...I dug through the sand searching for "treasures" of dead crabs, shells, and beach stones. I took off my heels and put my feet in the freezing water. I loved every minute of it. Much to my misfortune, in my slick, wet feet, I fell while climbing the huge rocks along the shoreline. I don't mean fell...that would've been fine. I busted it so hard, I cried out a long, horrific moan from the pain. I laid there thinking, "Jon is going to have to take me to the in Maine...on our vacation. We haven't had a vacation in so long! Steph...suck it up."

Jon took a picture and laughed as I hobbled in agony the rest of the week. I'm still really hurting six days later. I think I might have to make a doctor appointment to make sure I didn't crack my tailbone.
Jon sifted through my treasures and made me wean a lot out because he said the dead crab would start to stink, and the shell wouldn't hold up through the plane ride...but I snuck one in my pocket that I didn't want him taking. Later in the week, Jon found a tiny mussel, I had stashed away in there from the beach. He just looked at me and shook his head and smiled. "You fell because you were trying to pry that little sucker off the rock, weren't you!"
I gave a sheepish look. He totally figured me out. "But, I got it! It may have been a Robyn Clifton kind of thing to do, but I wanted that mussel and I was gonna get the dang thing!" Jon says, "Well...I didn't say it, you did." He just shakes his head and laughs. Bruised and limping, I mom totally would've done something like that.

Looking at all the foliage, I was amazed. Amazed that trees do not look like that here in Oklahoma and amazed at how much God must love us to create this for us. It makes me feel really small. I am in awe of nature...just like my mother.

Later, we are driving through the White Mountains in Maine. It seems like I'm asking Jon to pull over every quarter mile so I can take a picture. It was just so beautiful, I couldn't take it all in. Meanwhile, I'm picking up acorns, leaves, rocks, birch with moss on it, and berries and trying to shove them into the car without anyone seeing. It's frowned upon in a national forest, you know.
I look at these things and wonder how people can think we aren't here because of a creator. Like my mother, I see beauty in simplistic detail.

We had heard about this restaurant in Vermont called Simon Pearce, from Food Network. Simon Pearce is a five-star upscale restaurant and glass-blowing factory. It is very "green" also and makes enough hydroelectric energy to power the entire restaurant and factory. They also only use organic, quality produce and meats from local farmers. It was fabulous...and very expensive. As Jon is looking at the check with his eyeballs hanging out, I say, "It's just money." Like my mother, I like to splurge sometimes and not think about the cost.

A couple days after we got home, the boys are playing in the backyard in the dirt and Jon is lecturing them about once again being filthy. I just looked at him and said, "They're boys...let them get dirty." Sometimes cleanliness is overrated. Just like my mom, I think that fun needs to include making a mess. And... just like my father...Jon is griping about the kids trampling his newly planted grass seed!
I guess some things just go together.

Jackson: My Spiritual Giant

My oldest has really been amazing me lately. I feel like God is really working in his little heart to show him things that Jackson is capable of understanding at such a young age. Jack desperately wants a baby...a little sister. And while I would love to give him this, there's still some reservations about the timing. Plus, Jon and I are just not on the same page at this point in the game. We have been praying about this daily...but God has not given us a clear answer which leads me to believe the answer is..."Wait." I hate that answer. Of all answers from God, "Wait" is always the hardest. I'd almost rather hear "No," than "Wait."
Jackson prays for this every night and about every day he asks why God hasn't answered his prayer, yet. That's really a hard answer to give a child, especially because I feel guilty that if he knew we were totally CAPABLE of giving him this, he would probably be really disappointed that we hadn't. But, I keep reminding him that God is the giver of life and God is in control. While I'm telling him this, I'm telling myself the same thing.
Tonight, Jack's prayer went like this, "God, thank you for letting me go to church tonight and worship you and thank you for all the boys and girls that came to Awanas. Thank you for all your creation...and please CREATE a baby in my mom's tummy. I'm waiting. Amen." Yikes! This kid means business.
I'm just praying that God answers Jack's prayer too. Not just ours, but that He gives Jackson an answer that he can understand. Whether that means a baby or a lack of desire for a baby.

"Now may the God who gives comfort and strength in waiting make you of the same mind with one another in harmony with Christ Jesus…" Romans 15:5

"I am waiting for the Lord, my soul is waiting for Him, and my hope is in His Word." Psalms 130:5

"Jehovah is pleased with those fearing Him, with those waiting for His kindness." Psalms 147:11

"When I was waiting quietly for the Lord, His heart was turned to me, and He gave ear to my cry." Psalms 40:1

"And those who have knowledge of Your Name will put their faith in You; because you, Lord, have ever given Your help to those who were waiting for you." Psalms 9:10

Psalm 27:14 "Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord."

Lamentations 3:25 "The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, To the person who seeks Him."

Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God."