Just for Me

Have you ever wanted something of your own? I've been thinking a lot about this lately. I've thought how as a wife and mom, I don't feel like I have a whole lot that just belongs to me anymore. My time? Gone. My energy? Nope. My brain, my body, my thoughts-all consumed by or for other people. I want something that solely is mine alone.

I feel selfish for thinking that I want something like this. Shouldn't it be enough that I am Jackson and Cole's mother, or Jon's wife? That I serve have a roof over my head, a reliable car to drive, a great church? Well... it's not. I think as mothers we sometimes lose ourselves, and although I can't really remember who I was before I became a wife and mother, I would like to find that woman again. One who isn't covered in vomit, poop, snot, food, etc. One who has showered today or brushed her teeth for that matter. One, who never walked out the door without shaved legs, makeup, fixed hair, or a cute outfit. Yep, those days are gone.

And although on the inside I feel like a much better person than I used to be, it's hard to tell from the "mom-pants" I wear almost every day. My days are filled with laundry, cleaning, cooking, comforting, breaking-up fights, feeding the dog, paying bills, teaching, phone calls, yard-work, more laundry, grocery shopping, more cooking, etc. The list goes on. And sometimes at the end of the day, I lie in bed and think "not one of those things I did today was for me."

So, this is it. My motives for this blog are: 1} to talk about the funnies of motherhood-because you have to laugh to keep from crying. I've told funny stories about my kids to my friends and a couple have said, "You should write a book!" While, that's flattering and a great idea...I don't have time to read a book, much less write a book, so this is the second best thing.

2} to hear feedback from you! Some people hate advice, but I happen to love it! I love to hear women talk about what they did to get their kid to stop sucking his thumb, or how I can manage my time better, whatever. I think when you hear other people's stories, you can and take bits and pieces of what you've learned and make your life better.

3} for therapy-I'm not gonna lie. I'm not the best communicator. I have gotten a lot better through the years. I think being a wife and mother has forced me to do that, but when it comes to venting and getting things off my chest, if I do, it usually comes in the form of yelling. I hit my word limit at about noon. Most of you who have small children understand this. So, at the end of the day, the last thing I really want to do is talk. But with blogging, this way, I can relieve some pressure and be quiet all at the same time-perfect.

4}to inform you about what's going on at the Elliott household. It's just fun to share pictures and stories and hopefully someday my children will really appreciate this. Plus, it's quicker and easier than scrapbooking!

I plan on posting about every other day, but you know how that goes...so, maybe a couple times a week??? Maybe that's still too ambitious-I don't know. I'm new at this!