My Mother's Child

Lately, I've been realizing how much like my mom, I am. In the first real challenges of marriage and motherhood it started to show vaguely. As typical for a woman entering into my own "life", I've told myself over and over how I would never be like her. I would never do things like she did. Although she and I are very different people and very different parents, my mom has taught me a lot of really good things. Some of them she didn't even really "teach" me, more like I inherited them or I was just born with them being ingrained in me. Many of them didn't develop until later in life. Too many times I think I've dwelled on what my mother has done that was wrong...areas she failed me. In a lot of ways, that could be so. But also, in a lot of ways, she has taught me a lot of things. I really began to notice this while Jon and I went on a trip to New England last week. The older I get, the more in love with nature, I become. As a teenager, my parents took me camping...once. Once because frankly, my dad hates camping. Another because it was a miserable trip. We woke up lying in three inches of rain water and we all crammed into the car to sleep the last few hours til it was light enough to drive home. At that point in my life, I hated the outdoors. The bugs, the heat, the simplicity. I did not appreciate the beauty or peacefulness.
We landed in Boston late Wednesday afternoon. We hadn't eaten since that morning, so we headed out to an early dinner. We stopped at this little Italian restaurant called Bocelli's. The waitress came over to our table and asked us, in her strong Boston accent, what we would like to drink. Out of complete shock, I started to giggle. She looked at me bewildered and seemed to ask what I was laughing at. I couldn't help it! I've only heard people talk like that in the movies...but these people really exist! Like my mother, I tend to laugh when it's really inappropriate. For almost the entire rest of the trip, Jon and I only talked in our best "Jersey Shore" accents!



We drove up the coast to make our way to Maine and New Hampshire. Our first stop was the beach. It was completely amazing. The only beach I've seen was when Jon and I went to Cancun for our honeymoon and then to Playa del Carmen a couple years later. I've never seen the beaches here. I was like a kid in a candy store. I squealed like a little girl...I dug through the sand searching for "treasures" of dead crabs, shells, and beach stones. I took off my heels and put my feet in the freezing water. I loved every minute of it. Much to my misfortune, in my slick, wet feet, I fell while climbing the huge rocks along the shoreline. I don't mean fell...that would've been fine. I busted it so hard, I cried out a long, horrific moan from the pain. I laid there thinking, "Jon is going to have to take me to the hospital...here in Maine...on our vacation. We haven't had a vacation in so long! Steph...suck it up."




Jon took a picture and laughed as I hobbled in agony the rest of the week. I'm still really hurting six days later. I think I might have to make a doctor appointment to make sure I didn't crack my tailbone.
Jon sifted through my treasures and made me wean a lot out because he said the dead crab would start to stink, and the shell wouldn't hold up through the plane ride...but I snuck one in my pocket that I didn't want him taking. Later in the week, Jon found a tiny mussel, I had stashed away in there from the beach. He just looked at me and shook his head and smiled. "You fell because you were trying to pry that little sucker off the rock, weren't you!"
I gave a sheepish look. He totally figured me out. "But, I got it! It may have been a Robyn Clifton kind of thing to do, but I wanted that mussel and I was gonna get the dang thing!" Jon says, "Well...I didn't say it, you did." He just shakes his head and laughs. Bruised and limping, I realized...my mom totally would've done something like that.







Looking at all the foliage, I was amazed. Amazed that trees do not look like that here in Oklahoma and amazed at how much God must love us to create this for us. It makes me feel really small. I am in awe of nature...just like my mother.







Later, we are driving through the White Mountains in Maine. It seems like I'm asking Jon to pull over every quarter mile so I can take a picture. It was just so beautiful, I couldn't take it all in. Meanwhile, I'm picking up acorns, leaves, rocks, birch with moss on it, and berries and trying to shove them into the car without anyone seeing. It's frowned upon in a national forest, you know.
I look at these things and wonder how people can think we aren't here because of a creator. Like my mother, I see beauty in simplistic detail.







We had heard about this restaurant in Vermont called Simon Pearce, from Food Network. Simon Pearce is a five-star upscale restaurant and glass-blowing factory. It is very "green" also and makes enough hydroelectric energy to power the entire restaurant and factory. They also only use organic, quality produce and meats from local farmers. It was fabulous...and very expensive. As Jon is looking at the check with his eyeballs hanging out, I say, "It's just money." Like my mother, I like to splurge sometimes and not think about the cost.




A couple days after we got home, the boys are playing in the backyard in the dirt and Jon is lecturing them about once again being filthy. I just looked at him and said, "They're boys...let them get dirty." Sometimes cleanliness is overrated. Just like my mom, I think that fun needs to include making a mess. And... just like my father...Jon is griping about the kids trampling his newly planted grass seed!
I guess some things just go together.

Jackson: My Spiritual Giant

My oldest has really been amazing me lately. I feel like God is really working in his little heart to show him things that Jackson is capable of understanding at such a young age. Jack desperately wants a baby...a little sister. And while I would love to give him this, there's still some reservations about the timing. Plus, Jon and I are just not on the same page at this point in the game. We have been praying about this daily...but God has not given us a clear answer which leads me to believe the answer is..."Wait." I hate that answer. Of all answers from God, "Wait" is always the hardest. I'd almost rather hear "No," than "Wait."
Jackson prays for this every night and about every day he asks why God hasn't answered his prayer, yet. That's really a hard answer to give a child, especially because I feel guilty that if he knew we were totally CAPABLE of giving him this, he would probably be really disappointed that we hadn't. But, I keep reminding him that God is the giver of life and God is in control. While I'm telling him this, I'm telling myself the same thing.
Tonight, Jack's prayer went like this, "God, thank you for letting me go to church tonight and worship you and thank you for all the boys and girls that came to Awanas. Thank you for all your creation...and please CREATE a baby in my mom's tummy. I'm waiting. Amen." Yikes! This kid means business.
I'm just praying that God answers Jack's prayer too. Not just ours, but that He gives Jackson an answer that he can understand. Whether that means a baby or a lack of desire for a baby.

"Now may the God who gives comfort and strength in waiting make you of the same mind with one another in harmony with Christ Jesus…" Romans 15:5

"I am waiting for the Lord, my soul is waiting for Him, and my hope is in His Word." Psalms 130:5

"Jehovah is pleased with those fearing Him, with those waiting for His kindness." Psalms 147:11


"When I was waiting quietly for the Lord, His heart was turned to me, and He gave ear to my cry." Psalms 40:1

"And those who have knowledge of Your Name will put their faith in You; because you, Lord, have ever given Your help to those who were waiting for you." Psalms 9:10

Psalm 27:14 "Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord."

Lamentations 3:25 "The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, To the person who seeks Him."

Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God."

The Clydesdale Barn

If you live anywhere remotely close, you should definitely go visit the Clydesdales. It is such a fun experience and the best part...it's FREE! Being home with the boys everyday in the summer, I'm always looking for new things to do. We can spend quite a good chunk of change on entertainment after three months of this. The more I can find that is cheap, the better.
These horses are such fascinating animals. They are so gentle-natured and beautiful. We got there just in time to see the caretakers walking each horse out of their stalls, one-by-one, to be groomed. The size of them is incredible. I think my boys were most impressed by the size of their...uh...you know. I guess it's a "guy-thing" to be always checking that out, but to be quite honest...I couldn't stop staring, either! Along with the Clydesdales, there are also horses, ponies, cattle, and a zebra!




The boys made friends with this cat. She was used to being petted and she was loving the attention.

Make a Difference Monday

So, this post brags on my child, a bit. Forgive me, but I have to.

I can't take credit for this idea. I stole it from our babysitter, KB. I'm sure she would say she couldn't take credit for the idea, either, but she inspired us, so I credit her. KB has been doing something called, "Make a Difference Monday." A Christian music station called KLove has started this phenomenon of every Monday doing something for a friend or stranger that makes a difference in someone's life. KB has been doing this awhile and she blessed me one day by putting a Starbucks (God bless her, she knows this momma lives on coffee.) gift card in my mailbox when I was going through a hard time.
I loved the surprise so much and I just kept thinking how thoughtful that was for her to do. This college student who has plenty on her plate was putting others before herself to make a difference. It may not seem like much...but on a day when I was struggling and feeling invisible, once again, I felt like someone 'saw' me. It was huge to me...in my small, little world. It felt HUGE.
I started thinking how that could be something really useful to help my children 'see' others and take the focus off themselves. We have not been so consistent about it this summer, but we've had some really neat opportunities to show others Christ's love. The first time was a day that we met Jon for lunch at Ted's mexican restaurant. I had just spent a great morning with my kids at the Jumpzone, playing on the moonbounces. I saw a mother walk in with her daughter. Her little girl was probably 10years old. She was very pale, very sickly looking, and she was wearing a bandana over her sweet, little hairless head. It was apparent that her daughter had some form of cancer and she had probably just endured chemotherapy. I couldn't stop looking at them. The mother seemed genuinely happy. She smiled a lot as her and her daughter enjoyed lunch together. I couldn't help but feel compassion for that mother. She has such strength to endure her daughter's cancer, but it looked as if it hadn't stolen her joy. I felt a little guilty of the time I just spent with my boys at the Jumpzone. I took that time for granted. I felt guilty that I was really looking forward to their naptime that afternoon so that I could have two hours to myself. I wanted to go up to that mother and look deep into her eyes and give her a long, tight, hug. I chickened out with that and bought her lunch instead.
Jackson asked why I was doing this and after a long conversation, I told him that we were going to start doing something called, "Make a Difference Monday." He asked how he would know who he should help, and I told him that we would pray that God would put someone on our hearts.
Fast forward to last Sunday, we are walking out of church and Matt says hello to us in the parking lot. Matt is a 23 year old man from our church who is mentally disabled. Every Sunday and Wednesday Matt can be seen walking around the church. He always comes to say hello, give a handshake or high-five and show us some kind of toy or cartoon dvd he has in his posession. Jackson has felt a little nervous or afraid around Matt. I think it was initially hard for him to understand why this grown man talked and acted like a small child. After many long conversations about Matt, Jack has begun to have a soft place in his heart for him.
So, after church Sunday, Matt says hello and shows us three cartoon dvd's he is very proud of. After he walks away, Jack says, "Mom, I have an idea. How about we do 'Make a Difference Monday' for Matt. I bet he would like a new cartoon to watch."
My heart swelled and I fought back tears as I told Jack I thought that would be a great idea.
The next day we headed to Target to buy a new DVD for Matt. Jackson picked one out he thought Matt would enjoy and he also wanted to buy him a Crayola Color Wonder set of Toy Story. We got Matt a card and wrote on it that it was 'Make a Difference Monday' and Jackson wanted to bless Matt and show him that he is special. Jackson signed his name himself and we left it on Matt's porch. Matt's mother called me a couple days later to thank Jackson and let him know that Toy Story is Matt's absolute favorite. I can't help but believe that Jackson heard from God that day. I don't think it was on a whim he chose him. I know God spoke to Jack to tell him that Matt needed to feel the love of Christ that day.
We told KB about how she had paid it forward. Unbeknownst to us, KB emailed KLove to tell them Jackson's story. KLove called KB to tell her that they may be telling Jackson's story on the radio sometime this Monday!
I'm so proud to have a child that 'sees' others. Others that sometimes get glanced over. Others that may not see clear signs everyday of God's love and affection for them. Thank you Lord, for teaching Jackson to be selfless. Thank you, for using Jack to share your love to Matt. Wouldn't the world be an awesome place to live if everyone made a difference in someone's world just one day a week?
This is one of Jackson's memory verses: Romans 12:10 "Love each other deeply. Honor others before yourself."

Tball Trophy

I'm really behind on my blogging, but I had to be sure to post this. Jackson's tball team received a trophy for 3rd place this season. This is REALLY good, considering this team didn't stand a chance at the first few games. I'm so proud of him. It was so awesome to see how Jackson improved. I'm ashamed to say this, but at the first of the season, I had told someone how I didn't know that Jackson was going to be "the baseball player his dad was." I really regret saying this now. Not only because it doesn't matter if he's like his dad or not, but also because I doubted that he may not measure up. Well...I was wrong. Jackson was deemed the nickname, "Jackson, 'The Locomotive' Elliott", by his coaches. Even if he doesn't play ball through college, like Jon...or even high school; if this is the only year he ever plays, I couldn't be more proud. He was challenged and he persevered.
I remember when I was pregnant with Jack. Jon and I went for our 18 week ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby. When they told me it was a boy, for a minute, I was a little disappointed in it not being a girl. Jon said to me, "Steph, you're going to love having a boy, I promise you. You just wait til he brings you your first flower he ever picks, wait til he says he wants to marry his mommy, wait til he plays tball. I promise, you're going to love it."
Looking back, I can't imagine how I was ever disappointed. Jon was right. When he picked a flower and brought it to me the first time...I was so proud. When he said that he wanted to marry his mommy...I was so proud. And when I watched him play tball...I WAS SO PROUD. I didn't think I could love someone as much as I love you Jack. And, no matter what you decide to be in life....I will be SO PROUD...because, you're mine.

Cole and the Potty

So, I've said it before and I'll say it again...I underestimate this child. I don't know if I don't think he's capable of doing certain things or that subconsiously, I try to hold him back so that he won't grow up so quickly.
A couple of weeks ago, Cole wanted to wear a pair of bubba's underwear. "I wew unnawews wiff caws on 'em." In case you can't understand Cole's language, that was...he wanted to wear underwear with cars on it. Jon was home by this time and he told Cole he could wear the underwear if he would peepee on the potty. I looked at him with a look that said, "Yeah, right. Good luck with that." Jack chimed in and told Cole he would go with him and they could pee in the potty together. Cole still seemed unsure until we mentioned the idea of putting a cheerio in the potty and letting him "squirt" it.
He looked at Jon and said "Aiye." Translation: "Aiye," in Colie language means "yeah" or "okay." My jaw hit the floor.
I've had the potty conversations many times with Cole and he adamently says "NO!"...everytime. I had firmly believed in my mind that Cole was a child that would be potty-trained no sooner than 3 years old. I thought he was incapable of understanding what it meant to use the potty. Honestly...we've been busy with the move and getting settled, that I just haven't made it a priority.
Other than the day he pooped on the back porch...this potty-training thing has been a breeze.
Even though I hate it that you are growing so quickly before my eyes, I'm proud of you, Colie.

My Little Ballplayer

Jackson has become quite the ballplayer this season. It was so incredible to watch him improve and find confidence in his ability to play the game. He started out the season dreading each and every game and practice. He would beg me to miss..."just this once." But over time, Jackson really started to improve. With practice and encouragement, he began to see that he really was good at he game. He mostly played catcher and 3rd base. As a mother, to see his face when he made an out was one of the best feelings in the world. He was really proud of himself...but not as proud as I was of him.